good lord.
everytime i come back to this blog something new and comepletely different from my last post has happened. nothing ever stays the same for long....good thing or bad thing? i don't particularly know at the moment, but what i do know is that i am more than content living in my onw little world of fictional characters. hahah writing is like my comfort zone. i was up until 5something in the morning working one this old story that i forgot about last fall...i started it on one of those nights when something bad had happened and i just needed a quick fix, so to speak....that's what i do. make up a story as a place to channel all that "bad energy". i usually feel better afterword and tell myself "okay, i'll be back to keep working on it tomorrow." but i always end up forgetting or me too lazy or being fine the next day so not needing it. maybe i am "a user". haha yeahh maybee.
oh and by the way, blogggy, this is the last time i'm gonna be mentioning B, in this blog. him and i are...well it's complicated how it ended but it was a mutual thing and we're just living our own lives now apart from each other. he's off doin whatever a 15 year old guy does with his summer. [[girls, girls, more girls. the usual]] - catering to his hormones. i really don't wanna blame him for wanting some physical action after so long, i mean it's typical of a guy his age. but then there the love thing...and the "meant to be" thing, and the fact that thinking about him still twinges a bit. but it doesn't happen often anymore, so for that i'm thankful. time is a good thing. we've promised to talk every 6 months so we don't completely forget each other. and there's been no more of him in my life [[cept that one dream....uh really random]] until Decenmber 1st.
moving on.
heyyy i'm thinkin i'm gonna let u read the first [[super longgg]] chapter of my current W.I.P. story!!!!
ohh and also i might be transferring to a new school here since my fam is moving to this god-forsaken 5 acre plot of shit land and building a house.
OR i'll somehow beg my dad to let me live with him/kidnap me from the hellhole that is my house and mommy dearest and her husband. just because she's suffering in that marriage she wants me to suffer as part of the family. BULLSHIT.
an so yeah i'm at the library, outside of it since it's closed sitting on the HARD CONCRETE GROUND with my computer plugged into the wall charging [[finding the outlet=miracle!!]] and my butt is sore, all because once again i couldn't keep my mouth shut and just broke and told her like it was [[with no respect at all, but i mean come on, the 3 adults in this family are in some messed up shit, swimming aorund and drowning in it]] and she of course finally got an outlet for her pent up anger, yeah your welcome mommy. she has this warped sense of "us against her". like we're both out to get her, but i'm the only one she can control. it's like the movie, Lolita -- minues the MAJOR creepyness so only SLIGHTLY like it. ew. EW. okay bad comparison. i wish to god that i had stayed at boarding school or that she'd send me to one....i didn't remember what i was getting myself into and now she'll never let me leave.
sophmore, junior, senior years of hell here i come!!!!! bright side bright side? my writing world andddd SCHOOL -- 7 hours of not being at home. hellz yesss thank u very much ;)
*and i am so damn used to this new school, new ppl, new friends thing it's almost like a hobby now. sad truth right ther ;p
xoxo,
Sera
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